thanks for all of your suggestions and information!!

I also wanted to ask you (and maybe this falls more on Walk Slowly, Love Wildly) how your family has reacted too all of your changes? Is it hard when you have family meals (Thanksgiving, etc.)? Also, how do you deal with toys? Since you have a small space, I imagine you can’t have tons of room for toys, etc. but I am sure everyone wants to buy Bella new things. Such as for Christmas and birthdays – do you try not to have certain toys (plastics, characters, etc.) or not? I am very interested in having my children have natural wooden toys, no plastics, cloth dolls (do plastic dolls or Barbie’s) and avoiding characters (Dora, Blues, etc.) when possible….but my husband doesn’t think it will be possible to raise our kids like this because our parents won’t feed them healthy foods, buy them natural toys, and give them lots of candy in their stockings.

I suppose this is a rather long request I guess all this to say I’d love to hear more about raising Bella and the decisions you’ve made along the way, maybe family’s reactions and how you do it all!

It makes me a little sad to read Anne describing her daughter’s sensory issues and beating herself up about how she thinks it’s all her fault. I totally agree that kids eat how you teach them to eat, however there are kids who are an exception to this. Kids who are special needs, or maybe just have oral sensory problems. I have two autistic sons, and am all too familiar with sensory issues and eating. They aren’t refusing “healthy” food (like Anne said, her daughter even refuses sweet fruit), but are refusing the texture and/or strong flavor. Through my autism research I’ve learned that kids with sensory issues tend to only want carbs and cheese because they are the most bland foods out there. I do think there is some truth to this when I look at my own kids.

Back when I only had one child, I tried the whole “don’t give it to them” route, but my son being special needs, he literally didn’t eat a thing. For days.

I can totally relate to Anne (not that her daughter is autistic!) because it’s like we have two families living here. We have my husband and I who eat whole, organic foods and then we have my boys. It’s upsetting, but we never stop offering new things hoping one day their issues will get better.

Oh by the way, my second son used to eat everything we eat until he had a massive regression last year and now won’t eat anything.

So, I just hope people understand that this issue is not black and white. In my experience, it’s usually the kids who are in a healthy food family and are also good eaters (no sensory issues) that make up the perfect combination.

Peace,
`Arianne

I really wish I had not “given in” and fed her white foods when she was l little, but she truly did not eat otherwise. The pediatrician said not to make an issue out of it, so I didn’t and I haven’t, and now this is where we are.

Her younger sister is a little health foody, so part of this, I wonder sometimes, may be wrapped up in my big girl’s identity. It makes her different from the rest of us. But she clearly came with these feeding challenges–she was choosy about nursing, extremely choosy about anything beyond breast milk, then refused and refused and refused as we brought out solid food. I was not as informed then as I am now, and instead of keeping going with the healthy stuff, I got scared and gave her whatever she would eat. Every time I’ve made an effort to change that, it’s made us all miserable and made her feel somehow defective, and that’s certainly not my goal, either.

I know that just adding stuff will not work. My goal at this point is to get the white stuff out and replace it with whole grains. I’m not a huge proponent of whole wheat, but given that she eats no rice and no pasta (other than Annie’s Mac), bread and crackers are all I have to work with in terms of substitutions. And I’ll keep trying with the fruits and veggies and smoothies.

I have seen many doctors talking about this lately…how the child builds their identity around it…and the longer it goes on and the longer people comment on it…the worse it gets. In my opinion, she is still young enough to make changes (do it before she hits the teenage years!!) You are right in saying that YOU are the one buying the food. If you just stop buying those foods, she will eventually eat healthy foods. Honestly…she won’t starve herself. She might not eat for a few days…but eventually she’ll eat. I wouldn’t suggest just “taking it away” though. I would make her a part of the decision. Bring her shopping…let her try to figure out just a few fruits and veggies that she “might” like. Start adding them slowly to her adding. ADDING. Don’t take stuff away in the beginning. Just add stuff. Then, as time goes on, start getting rid of the bad stuff.

On a TV show I like to watch (You Are What You Eat on BBC)…the host was telling the mom that the way she is allowing her children to eat was basically the equivalent of child abuse. Only, it was “food abuse”. I know this sounds really harsh, but hear me out. If your daughter continues to eat this way…it’s almost certain that she will have problems in the future…problems that could have been prevented. I hope you don’t take offense to this…it’s just a new way to look at it.

I’d love to help you with ideas…feel free to email me directly at janssenfamily (at) gmail (dot) com.

Happy Eating!

I have gotten so into eating healthfully in recent years and these days am high raw, strict vegetarian most of the time. I feel so much better and it feels WRONG to continue to buy the only stuff my daughter will eat, which isn’t even real food. (I’ve been reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.)

I realize this comment might get buried in this post, but if any one of you has any great advice or insight, please pass it along!

Funny story about choices, we make chopska (tomatoes, cucumbers, feta cheese,and red wine vinegar). At first my 3yo daughter did not like it, but I still serve it to her. After 3 weeks she now LOVES it, ” Can I have more?” is so delightful to hear. THanks

* cooked dried white beans: 161mg per serving (1 oz)
* dried figs: 169mg per serving (10 figs)
* spinach: 120mg per serving (1 cup raw or 1/2 cup cooked)
* oranges: 50mg per serving (1 medium orange)
* sweet potatoes: 44mg per serving (1/2 cup mashed)
* broccoli: 35mg per serving (1 1/2 cup raw or 1/2 cup cooked)

I wonder though, about her calcium intake. I know that there’s some question as to whether the current FDA calcium allowance is excessive since poor dietary choices can inhibit absorption, but the only significant sources of calcium I can see are the kale in the green lemonade and the almond butter and milk… not very much.

Do you supplement or do you find those levels of calcium sufficient for your growing girl?